Make America Snack Again. Introducing the Caucasians 2026 tee: official merch from Austin's most unapologetic and dangerously handsome obese comedian, Freeze. A proudly ridiculous parody logo featuring corn dogs where the feathers used to be. Because if we're going to have a mascot, we might as well be honest about our heritage. And Freeze was raised on State Fair. Perfect for comedy shows, backyard cookouts, awkward family reunions, and confusing strangers at the bus stop. Wear it proudly. About the shirt Classic-fit, 100% cotton tee (fiber content varies by color) Available in multiple colors and sizes Durable double-stitched sleeves and hem Wash cold. Tumble dry. Don't fuck it up. About Freeze The Comedian Freeze is an Austin-based stand-up comedian who's performed at venues in multiple states; and events including SXSW, Cap City Comedy Club, Creek and the Cave, Roast Battle League, and The Vulcan, with a feature on KUT/NPR Austin, feature on 107.5 KZL, and more.